Skip to content

Children Quote by Gabor Maté

“Intuitively we all know that it is better to feel than to not feel. Our emotions are not a luxury but an essential aspect of our makeup. We have them not just for the pleasure of feeling but because they have crucial survival value. They orient us, interpret the world for us, give us vital…” quote by Gabor Maté
Download Open image
““Intuitively we all know that it is better to feel than to not feel. Our emotions are not a luxury but an essential aspect of our makeup. We have them not just for the pleasure of feeling but because they have crucial survival value. They orient us, interpret the world for us, give us vital information without which we cannot thrive. They tell us what is dangerous and what is benign, what threatens our existence and what will nurture our growth. Imagine how disabled we would be if we could not see or hear or taste or sense heat or cold or physical pain. To shut down emotions is to lose an indispensable part of our sensory apparatus and, beyond that, an indispensable part of who we are. Emotions are what make life worthwhile, exciting, challenging, and meaningful. They drive our explorations of the world, motivate our discoveries, and fuel our growth. Down to the very cellular level, human beings are either in defensive mode or in growth mode, but they cannot be in both at the same time. When children become invulnerable, they cease to relate to life as infinite possibility, to themselves as boundless potential, and to the world as a welcoming and nurturing arena for their self-expression. The invulnerability imposed by peer orientation imprisons children in their limitations and fears. No wonder so many of them these days are being treated for depression, anxiety, and other disorders. The love, attention, and security only adults can offer liberates children from the need to make themselves invulnerable and restores to them that potential for life and adventure that can never come from risky activities, extreme sports, or drugs. Without that safety our children are forced to sacrifice their capacity to grow and mature psychologically, to enter into meaningful relationships, and to pursue their deepest and most powerful urges for self-expression. In the final analysis, the flight from vulnerability is a flight from the self. If we do not hold our children close to us, the ultimate cost is the loss of their ability to hold on to their own truest selves.””

Gabor Maté

About This Quote

Source Book: In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, Gabor Maté, 2008

Emotions are essential survival tools that guide us, provide vital information, and enable growth; suppressing them limits our humanity and development.

In simple terms: Feelings guide survival and growth; without them we are crippled.

Key Takeaway

Embrace and process emotions for healthy development.

Themes

vulnerability emotion growth psychology development

Mood

reflective empathetic inspirational

Type

advice philosophical motivational

When to use this quote

  • parenting
  • mental health therapy
  • education
  • personal development
  • childhood resilience

Key Concepts

survival value defensive mode growth mode psychological safety self‑expression

Questions to Reflect On

  • How can adults safely model vulnerability for children?
  • What practices help balance emotional awareness with stability?
A Different Perspective

Emotions can be overwhelming and may lead to maladaptive coping if not managed.

3.8 out of 5 (6 ratings)

More by Gabor Maté

Explore all 244 Gabor Maté quotes

More Children quotes

Browse all 62,417 Children quotes