Asked Quote by Chris Voss
““The implication of any well-designed calibrated question is that you want what the other guy wants but you need his intelligence to overcome the problem. This really appeals to very aggressive or egotistical counterparts. You’ve not only implicitly asked for help—triggering goodwill and less defensiveness—but you’ve engineered a situation in which your formerly recalcitrant counterpart is now using his mental and emotional resources to overcome your challenges.””
About This Quote
Source Book: Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss, 2016
Effective questioning aligns the other party’s goals with yours, leveraging their expertise to solve problems while reducing resistance.
In simple terms: Ask questions that make others help you solve your problem.
Key Takeaway
Use calibrated questions to turn opponents into collaborators.
Themes
communication
negotiation
psychology
collaboration
Mood
strategic
analytical
empathetic
Type
advice
strategic
psychological
When to use this quote
- business deals
- conflict resolution
- team brainstorming
- customer service
- legal negotiations
Key Concepts
calibrated questioning
emotional intelligence
strategic empathy
Questions to Reflect On
- How can you ensure your question is perceived as collaborative?
- When might a calibrated question increase tension?
A Different Perspective
If the counterpart is uncooperative, questions may be ignored or backfire.
