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Witty Facebook Status Quotes by Ash Phillips
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- Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. — Dave Barry
- I love Thanksgiving turkey... It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. — Arnold Schwarzenegger
- Sure God created man before woman, but then again you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece. — Robert Bloch
- A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't — Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
- A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. — Bob Hope
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. — Steven Wright
- Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it. — Oscar Wilde
- My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a bitch. — Jack Nicholson
- Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember — Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
- I woke at wrong side of facebook, today is going to be such a drag — Hussein Nishah
- Doctors finally figured out whats wrong with a boys brain; on the left side, theres nothing right; and on the right side,… — Hussein Nishah
- When people say life is short. What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do… — Babloo