Best Toilet Proverbs

407 Toilet quotes by 303 unique authors

We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat! — Joanne Kathleen Rowling
Sometimes, to relieve stress, he would soak his feet in the toilet, a practice that was not as soothing for his collegues. — Walter Isaacson
Harry looked at Bellman. He could not help but admire him. The way you admire a cockroach you flush down the toilet and it comes… — Jo Nesbo
I could be worse, you know." "How?" I asked, teasing. "I mean, I have a work of calligraphy over my toilet that reads, 'Bathe yourself… — John Green
When I was little, my friends would gush over wedding gowns and honeymoons. But I saw too many people flush decades together down the toilet… — Ellen Hopkins
You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop,… — Eddie Izzard
I sat on a toilet watching the water run thinking what an odd thing tourism is. You fly off to a strange land, eagerly abandoning… — Bill Bryson
Maybe I've moved to the dark side, but it's clean and nice and we never run out of toilet paper. — Jen Lancaster
Sensitive. That killed me. That guy Morrow was about as sensitive as a toilet seat. — J D Salinger
Books Are Good For Lots Of Uses, Not For Dropping In The Toilet. — Frank Zappa
Science attacks our most cherished opinions. Opinions which come straight from our collective gut. Oh, wait, according to gastroenterologists, the only thing that comes from… — Stephen Colbert
A small girl became increasingly paralysed by her parents' frequently violent rows. Sometimes she would spend hours standing completely still in the toilet, simply because… — Sarah Kane
Rochelle," she calls out, still looking at me. "Is there anyone down at the desk? I need something." I'm too startled to move. Is she… — Patricia McCormick
Never thought I’d intentionally sleep on a bathromm floor next to a toilet while sober, but I meant it when I said I would sleep… — J.A. Redmerski
Former police chief of Houston once said of me: “Frank Abagnale could write a check on toilet paper, drawn on the Confederate States Treasury, sign… — Frank Abagnale
There's nothing special about losing your virginity over a toilet. — Becca Fitzpatrick
Is there some kind of rule for when Sam should be a boy and when he's a Wolf?" "A Wolf lifts his leg and yellows… — Anne Bishop
As he flushed, an unexpected realization hit him. This is the Pope's toilet, he thought. I just took a leak in the Pope's toilet. He… — Dan Brown
If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you scream, or would you innately… — David Sedaris
Life before toilet paper was not worth living. — Sherrilyn Kenyon
There is only one immutable law in life - in a gentleman's toilet, incoming traffic has the right of way. — Hugh Leonard
It's probably not love if you don't press your face to the toilet seat after they've used it to feel their warmth. — Rob Delaney
Here in the Netherlands there are towns that take part in the throwing of toilet bowls for a laugh. — Willem-Alexander, Prince of Orange
We are now in the 21st century: all books, including the Koran, should be fair game for flushing down the toilet without fear of violent… — Sam Harris
Cancer is a great wake-up call. A call to take the tag off the new lingerie and wear that black lacy slip. To open the… — Regina Brett

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