Stand-Up Quotes

295 Stand-Up quotes by 176 unique authors

I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in… — Norm MacDonald
I'm happy doing stand-up, but I'll probably do a television show eventually. If not, I'll delve into this Internet world and decide best how to… — Norm MacDonald
Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline. — Demetri Martin
Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to… — Demetri Martin
But long story short, I didn't start doing stand-up because I wanted to have a TV show or be an actor or even wanted to… — Demetri Martin
I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in… — Steve Martin
I don't make much distinction between being a stand-up comic and acting Shakespeare - in fact, unless you're a good comedian, you're never going to… — Ian Mckellen
I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just… — Dennis Miller
I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms you had to fill in for stand-up, so I thought… — Dylan Moran
Stand-up came naturally to me because people in Ireland talk. But that's not talking on panel shows; it is structured fun. It reminds me of… — Dylan Moran
Those years between drama school and getting onto the stand-up circuit were pretty lean. — Graham Norton
90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive… — Patton Oswalt
I like to write, I like to do stand-up, I like to act. — Patton Oswalt
If I were to just focus on stand-up, I could actually, paradoxically enough, be home way more, because I would leave on a Friday, go… — Patton Oswalt
Yeah, there were a few years in the early nineties where I really began to hate what was valued as funny and just sort of… — Patton Oswalt
Did you know I started out as a stand-up comic? People don't believe me when I tell them. That's how I saw myself, in comedy. — Al Pacino
Improvisation is almost like the retarded cousin in the comedy world. We've been trying forever to get improvisation on TV. It's just like stand-up. It's… — Amy Poehler
I could never do stand-up because it's that thing of having to get up on stage. And out of every 10 jokes you tell, nine… — Daniel Radcliffe
When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show. — Chris Rock
When you snatch little pieces of other people's lives and try to palm them off as your own, that's more disgusting than anything. Robin Williams… — Joe Rogan
The two things I understand best are stand-up comedy and martial arts. And those things require an ultimate grasp of the truth. You have to… — Joe Rogan
I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it. — Rita Rudner
When I do stand-up shows at colleges, girls will talk to me after the show, and that always feels good. I like talking to them. — Adam Sandler
When I was younger and did a stand-up gig, it would take me two weeks to recover. Sometimes I'd get so panicked that I would… — Adam Sandler
Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner. — Jerry Seinfeld

Who Wrote These Stand-Up Quotes

176 authors contributed a total of 295 Stand-Up Quotes, led by these top contributors: