Stand-Up Quotes

295 Stand-Up quotes by 176 unique authors

Stand-up comedy is a raunchy profession. — Aziz Ansari
What's cool about Twitter is that you can make a joke about something very of-the-moment or random that I wouldn't be able to joke about… — Aziz Ansari
With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes. — Aziz Ansari
There were very few women comics when I started out doing stand-up. But I always saw that as a great advantage. — Carol Leifer
I'm a big eater. I mean, a lot of my stand-up is about food, and you write about what you know, and that's the only… — Jim Gaffigan
I was trained as an actress. But I wasn't a very convincing actress, so I started doing punk poetry and then fell into doing stand-up. — Jenny Eclair
A special validates you as a stand-up by documenting your material. — Kevin Nealon
I'm probably more of a stand-up comedian than an actor. — Kevin Nealon
When I began doing stand-up, it took me a long time to get an hour's worth of material together. — Kevin Nealon
Also, as I've gotten older and more mature, I've become much more comfortable in my own skin. After 25 years of doing stand-up, that's reflected… — Janeane Garofalo
I have to tell you I enjoy Jon Stewart. That's the truth. I actually think he's very funny. I've paid to see him do his… — Megyn Kelly
I keep my stand-up comedy notes in a pile on my desk. I don't organize my act. I keep myself in a state of confusion.… — Joy Behar
When you're doing stand-up, you can comment if something fails, get a laugh from that. — Rob Brydon
I was at college doing performing arts, and just spending all my time mucking about, and the lecturers thought I would be pretty good at… — Allen Carr
But you really - I always think that a director has got to adapt to whatever the needs of the actor are. You know, so… — Bill Condon
I love to exercise outside in the fresh air and sun: hiking, swimming, stand-up paddleboarding, and jogging. — Colbie Caillat
I got lucky. I won the San Francisco Stand-Up Comedy Competition in 1977 while I was still at San Francisco State. — Dana Carvey
When people come to see my stand-up, they get a chance to see my characters interact with each other. — Dana Carvey
I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it's what I've been doing… — Dave Attell
I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials. — Dave Attell
I've never considered stand-up. Luckily I'm given great lines to say. I'm not sure how great my timing would be if I actually had to… — Emma Caulfield
I play these sort of comical instruments I invented, like the electric rake and the electric plunger. I do a lot of almost stand-up comedy… — Eugene Chadbourne
The idea of doing stand-up is terrifying to me. — Charlie Day
My stand-up is far more rooted in reality than my Twitter. — Rob Delaney
And if people do like me, I think it's because I'm a stand-up guy. — David Duval

Who Wrote These Stand-Up Quotes

176 authors contributed a total of 295 Stand-Up Quotes, led by these top contributors: