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- Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. — Aristotle
- I was dyslexic, so I was put in the silly class at school. — David Bailey
- What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. — Pearl Bailey
- The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist. — Russell Baker
- One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork. — Edward Abbey
- In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a… — Douglas Adams
- When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. — Edward Abbey
- What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. — Dave Barry
- The best things in life are silly. — Scott Adams
- I'm tired of love; I'm still more tired of rhyme; but money gives me pleasure all the time. — Hilaire Belloc
- Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no! — John Belushi
- There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. — Josh Billings