Best Masturbation Quotations

112 Masturbation quotes by 96 unique authors

The reward of a successful collaboration is a thing that cannot be produced by either of the parties working alone. It is akin to the… — Harlan Ellison
Above all others I pity the homeless: where can they go to masturbate? — Robert Clark
To me, video games aren't something as necessary as food or sleep, but they're just as important as delicious food, drinks, afternoon naps, walks, music,… — Hidetaka Suehiro
My words, my writing, my actions—these have never been for myself alone, either directly or indirectly. There is no such thing as an artist who… — Pramoedya Ananta Toer
My first time I jacked off, I thought I'd invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going… — Chuck Palahniuk
Thirst was made for water; inquiry for truth. What you now call the free play of inquiry has neither more nor less to do with… — C.S. Lewis
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. — Lily Tomlin
Self improvement is masturbation... — Chuck Palahniuk
Do you know what 'masturbation' is? I think you probably do because you are older than me. But just in case, I will tell you.… — Stephen Chbosky
Art is the process of evoking pity and terror, which is not abstract at all but very human. What the self-styled modern artists are doing… — Robert A. Heinlein
It is practically an axiom in psychiatry that precocious intellect combined with physical weakness can give rise to many unpleasant character traits - avarice, delusions… — Sam Savage
What was said about him, what the females needed to believe about him, was just oral masturbation for mouths that needed to be otherwise occupied. — J R Ward
I wanted to put a reference to masturbation in one of the scripts for the Sandman. It was immediately cut by the editor [Karen Berger].… — Neil Gaiman
In the United States, the last recorded clitoridectomy for curing masturbation was performed in 1948--on a five year old girl. — Eve Ensler
I think that at a certain age, say fifteen or sixteen, poetry is like masturbation. But later in life good poets burn their early poetry,… — Umberto Eco
But it was I, yes I, who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics! — Woody Allen
Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity, you will become a… — Chuck Palahniuk
And it’s not like I’ve never jacked off. I’m fifteen years old. Of course I do it. Any guy who says he doesn’t is lying.… — Michael Thomas Ford
I also believe in cigarettes, cholesterol, alcohol, carbon monoxide, masturbation, the Arts Council, nuclear weapons, the Daily Telegraph, and not properly labeling fatal poisons, but… — Dennis Potter
We wanted to say that this is a student conference, as it should be, held on a campus, and that we're not ever to be… — Stokely Carmichael
Hey! Did you know: - sex is okay - so is masturbation - watching porn wont make you impure - one night stands are okay… — Ream
The masturbation myth is absolutely responsible for more unwanted pregnancies and diseases than anything else on the planet earth. During the middle ages, dictator-like religious… — Johnny Luckett
Think of the human body as a volcano that erupts releasing its gasses and lava flows. If the natural release mechanisms were to be tampered… — Johnny Luckett
Life is an ongoing masturbation everyday is a new ejaculation. — Jeremy Limn
I have a T-shirt that says, Plays Well With Self. It suits me (or at least the top half). — Rock Cowles

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