Best I Bought Wisdom

319 I Bought quotes by 270 unique authors

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. — Steven Wright
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it. — Steven Wright
I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add. — Steven Wright
I bought a cheap piece of land... It was on someone else’s property. — Steven Wright
I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there. — Steven Wright
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a… — Steven Wright
On Sunday morning I went out for a while in the neighbourhood; I bought some raisin bread. The day was warm but a little sad,… — Michel Houellebecq
[...] He didn't want his wife to read historical romances because it might give her unrealistic expectations. [...] If I had been him, I would… — Catherine Anderson
I bought an energy bar, and as I ate it a great weariness came over me. — Sam Lipsyte
I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink.… — Steve Martin
He gave her a sly, sideways look. "Did you bring it?" "My list? Heavens, no. What can you be thinking?" His smile widened. "I brought… — Julia Quinn
Excuse me? You're a lady?" "I bought a title on the Internet. I own one square inch of Scotland. And you're changing the subject. — Rachel Caine
...hot pink with a star done in rainbow rhinestones on the front. It was god-awful. I bought it. — Richelle Mead
I'll be your mess,you be mine That was the deal that we had signed I bought a hazmat suit to clean up your waste Gas… — Gayle Forman
Now he looked at the classic parked on the street and admitted, “I bought it soon after we met. I… had hoped someday I might… — Jennifer Rardin
I bought a packet of Trojan® Ultra Pleasure Extra Sensitive condoms: ‘No. 1 in AMERICA’. They smell nothing like a positive first sexual experience. — Joe Dunthorne
At lunchtime I bought a huge orange The size of it made us all laugh. I peeled it and shared it with Robert and Dave—… — Wendy Cope
All salvation is temporary," Augustus shot back. "I bought them a minute. Maybe that's the minute that buys them an hour, which is the hour… — John Green
All of a sudden I became aware of a little star in one of those patches and I began looking at it intently. That was… — Fyodor Dostoevsky
Reading was like an addiction; I read while I ate, on the train, in bed until late at night, in school, where I'd keep the… — Haruki Murakami
One more thing. I sold the mustang. Too conspicuous. Don't get too excited, but I bought you a little something with the extra cash. I… — Becca Fitzpatrick
So it’s your death suit.” “Correct. Don’t you have a death outfit?” “Yeah,” I said. “It’s a dress I bought for my fifteenth birthday party.… — John Green
So,” Marasi said, “you traded a dead man’s scarf for another dead man’s gun. But…the gun itself belonged to someone dead, so by the same… — Brandon Sanderson
They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them. — Eddie Izzard
It's not a date. I bought my own drink and I didn't shave my legs. — Kristin Hannah

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