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Tim Allen has 49 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents…
• Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a…
• Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
• You don't know what people are really like until they're under a lot of stress.
• Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't…
• I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there…
• The world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical…
• My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

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