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- My mother taught public school, went to Harvard and then got her master's there and taught fifth and sixth grade in a… — Ben Affleck
- This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That's it. Beginning and… — Anthony Jeselnik
- I understand what it's like to come with your family, and to uproot yourself and come to another culture. You need a… — Emma Thompson
- My son Cooper has just turned ten and the sarcasm fairy has already started to take up residence inside his body. Not… — Melissa Rivers
- A cat's got her own opinion of human beings. She don't say much, but you can tell enough to make you anxious… — Jerome K. Jerome
- To put it in gentleman's terms, if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you… — Ian Holloway
- I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster. — Rodney Dangerfield
- If Brad Pitt gets Kristen Bell, it’s like, ‘Well, of course he did.’ With me, it should be, ‘Oh good, a normal-looking… — Dax Shepard
- I play the unsinkable Molly Brown, which is where she got her name from, because she survived. — Marilu Henner
- She's super sexy everybody wanna know bout her and the one that everybody want, but no one's ever got her. Because the… — Ne-Yo
- Victoria's got her secrets. Hey, so do I! — Si Robertson
- Dogs possess a quality that's rare among humans -- the ability to make you feel valued just by being you -- and… — Caroline Knapp