Best Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
38 Funny Thanksgiving quotes by 32 unique authors
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Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.
— Jim Davis
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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
— Phyllis Diller
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A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.
— Kin Hubbard
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Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.
— Kevin James
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You can only govern men by serving them. The rule is without exception.
— Victor Kiam
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The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation for goodness.
— Dalai Lama
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If you want to save a species, simply decide to eat it. Then it will be managed - like chickens, like turkeys, like deer, like…
— Ted Nugent
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Even though we're a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
— Richard Roeper
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There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
— George Bernard Shaw
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I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed…
— Jon Stewart
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There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.
— Oscar Wilde
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I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.
— Oscar Wilde
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I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.
— Craig Ferguson
Who Wrote These Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
32 authors contributed a total of 38 Funny Thanksgiving Quotes, led by these top contributors: