Best Funny Love Quotations
179 Funny Love quotes by 135 unique authors
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be…
— Fran Lebowitz
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Love is the flower you've got to let grow.
— John Lennon
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Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
— Jay Leno
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Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
— Bill Maher
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Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.
— Christopher Marlowe
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I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
— Steve Martin
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
— Groucho Marx
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
— Groucho Marx
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
— Groucho Marx
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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
— Jackie Mason
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Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.
— H. L. Mencken
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Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
— H. L. Mencken
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If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
— Bette Midler
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A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.
— Moliere
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I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands.
— Dudley Moore
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We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
— Alanis Morissette
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Love is an emotion experienced by the many and enjoyed by the few.
— George Jean Nathan
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The only abnormality is the incapacity to love.
— Anais Nin
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If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
— Aristotle Onassis
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Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!
— Robert Orben
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It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
— Laurence J. Peter
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In a recent Valentine's Day posting on her fan website, Britney Spears says that - oh, who cares?
— Amy Poehler
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Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers.
— Richard Pryor
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My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
— Joan Rivers
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There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
— Chris Rock
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Who Wrote These Funny Love Quotes
135 authors contributed a total of 179 Funny Love Quotes, led by these top contributors: