Best Funny Love Sayings
179 Funny Love quotes by 135 unique authors
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Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
— Benjamin Franklin
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The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into…
— Sigmund Freud
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It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
— Robert Frost
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I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?
— Zsa Zsa Gabor
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I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
— Zsa Zsa Gabor
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If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
— Mahatma Gandhi
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The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.
— Charles de Gaulle
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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
— Sacha Guitry
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Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
— Billy Connolly
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I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife.
— Tony Curtis
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
— Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
— Rodney Dangerfield
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Women love a self-confident bald man.
— Larry David
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If it's true that men are such beasts, this must account for the fact that most women are animal lovers.
— Doris Day
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
— Phyllis Diller
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
— Phyllis Diller
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I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
— Walt Disney
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We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack.
— Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
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The art of love is largely the art of persistence.
— Albert Ellis
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Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat.
— Ben Hecht
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If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
— Katharine Hepburn
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Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.
— Elbert Hubbard
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Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get…
— Jean Kerr
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
— Alan King
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Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief…
— D. H. Lawrence
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Who Wrote These Funny Love Quotes
135 authors contributed a total of 179 Funny Love Quotes, led by these top contributors: