Best Funny Inspirational Wisdom
344 Funny Inspirational quotes by 248 unique authors
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I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I'm gonna rip it…
— Ellen DeGeneres
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Profit in business comes from repeat customers, customers that boast about your project or service, and that bring friends with them.
— W. Edwards Deming
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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
— Phyllis Diller
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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
— Phyllis Diller
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We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down…
— Phyllis Diller
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It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
— Walt Disney
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I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.
— Arthur Conan Doyle
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Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.
— Peter Drucker
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The entrepreneur always searches for change, responds to it, and exploits it as an opportunity.
— Peter Drucker
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Time is the scarcest resource and unless it is managed nothing else can be managed.
— Peter Drucker
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Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
— Wayne Dyer
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Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.
— Dick Van Dyke
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Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless.
— Thomas A. Edison
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When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an…
— Albert Einstein
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Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run…
— Dwight D. Eisenhower
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Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.
— Sam Ewing
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
— W.C. Fields
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A business that makes nothing but money is a poor business.
— Henry Ford
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The competitor to be feared is one who never bothers about you at all, but goes on making his own business better all the time.
— Henry Ford
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Nobody who ever gave his best regretted it.
— George Halas
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A woman has two smiles that an angel might envy, the smile that accepts a lover before words are uttered, and the smile that lights…
— Thomas Chandler Haliburton
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If you rest, you rust.
— Helen Hayes
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The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
— Helen Hayes
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My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
— Mitch Hedberg
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Cherish your visions and your dreams, as they are the children of your soul; the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.
— Napoleon Hill
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Who Wrote These Funny Inspirational Quotes
248 authors contributed a total of 344 Funny Inspirational Quotes, led by these top contributors: