Best Funny Inspirational Lines
344 Funny Inspirational quotes by 248 unique authors
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The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.
— Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
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A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself.
— Clifton Fadiman
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The full area of ignorance is not mapped. We are at present only exploring the fringes.
— John Desmond Bernal
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I'm glad I don't play anymore. I could never learn all those handshakes.
— Phil Rizzuto
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Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
— Stan Kelly-Bootle
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Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
— Martin Fowler
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Copy and paste is a design error.
— David Parnas
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Humor is most powerful thing that uses laughter as it base to chase your blues away.
— Kareena Kapoor
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Given a choice of weapons with you sir, I should choose grammar.
— Unknown Author
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When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win.
— Henny Youngman
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Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up.
— Frank Zappa
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When you're out of willpower you call on stubbornness, that's the trick.
— Henri Matisse
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Self awareness is NOT just a bunch of amino acids bumping together.
— Robert A. Heinlein
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There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option.
— Jeph Jacques
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Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.
— Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
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Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.
— George Bernard Shaw
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I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?
— Carol Burnett
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It was not so very long ago that people thought that semiconductors were part-time orchestra leaders and microchips were very small snack foods.
— Geraldine Ferraro
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I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids.
— Jonathan Raban
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These motivational tapes have really inspired me! I'm going to make a million dollars, buy my own company and retire early. Then, I'm going to…
— Randy Glasbergen
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There's a little truth in all jive, and a little jive in all truth.
— Unknown Author
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Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
— Carrie Snow
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The world wants to define me by my mammary glands and melanin. It is just fascinating that Michael Mann has never been asked what it…
— Unknown Author
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The rest of the world lives to eat, while I eat to live.
— Socrates
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The standard four food groups are based on American agricultural lobbies. Why do we have a milk group? Because we have a National Dairy Council.…
— Marion Nestle
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Who Wrote These Funny Inspirational Quotes
248 authors contributed a total of 344 Funny Inspirational Quotes, led by these top contributors: