Funny Graduation Quotes
37 quotes by 37 authors
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A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep.
— Wystan Hugh Auden
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Try putting your iPhones down every once in a while and look at people's faces.
— Amy Poehler
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Responsibility to yourself means that you don't fall for shallow and easy solutions-it means that you refuse to sell your talents and aspirations short.
— Adrienne Rich
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I graduated in 1989, and I'd focused almost entirely on the Soviet Union and communism ... so when the Berlin wall fell, I was, well,…
— Anderson Cooper
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I too turned to Webster's Dictionary and it defined Harvard University as a season for gathering crops.
— Andy Samberg
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... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
— Art Buchwald
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... a relentless focus on the outward markers of success can lead to complacency. It can make you lazy.
— Barack Obama
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When I was here there was still a requirement that students had to swim 50 yards to graduate...because Harry Elkins Widener had drowned with the…
— Barney Frank
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Pay off your student loan. Even if you don't have a job...Because when you finally get a job you're going to be one of us.
— Bill Cosby
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I can tell you how bad our boards are... I don't have to watch Saturday Night Live anymore; I just go to the board meetings.
— Carl Icahn
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I've observed a few things about the few really great people I've had a chance to meet and cover...They need to be around people. You…
— David Brooks
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Now I usually try not to give advice. Information, yes, advice, no. But, what has worked for me may not work for you. Well, take…
— Dolly Parton
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Learn to trust yourself. That's very vital. ... Just stand with yourself. Remember, in his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only two paintings. I personally sold…
— Eric Idle
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In this time of recession, it is the time for invention. Did you know both the telephone and the automobile were invented during recessions? So…
— Eugene Mirman
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Remember that there's no one way of doing things. ... If you just get a hammer and hit it really hard, whatever it is, I…
— Fred Armisen
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I wish that someone had said to me that it's normal to feel lost for a little while.
— Ira Glass
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Live all of your life. Understand it, see it, appreciate it. And have fun.
— Joss Whedon
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When I made coffee and Xeroxed and distributed newspapers at ABC News, I thought my life was over.
— Katie Couric
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The work itself is the reward, and if I choose challenging work, it'll pay me back with interest. At least I'll be interested, even if…
— Meryl Streep
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I was a Democrat before I was a Republican before I became an independent and I never changed my principles.
— Michael Bloomberg
Who Wrote These Funny Graduation Quotes
37 authors contributed a total of 37 Funny Graduation Quotes, led by these top contributors: