Funny Graduation Quotes

37 quotes by 37 authors

A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep. — Wystan Hugh Auden
Try putting your iPhones down every once in a while and look at people's faces. — Amy Poehler
Responsibility to yourself means that you don't fall for shallow and easy solutions-it means that you refuse to sell your talents and aspirations short. — Adrienne Rich
I graduated in 1989, and I'd focused almost entirely on the Soviet Union and communism ... so when the Berlin wall fell, I was, well,… — Anderson Cooper
I too turned to Webster's Dictionary and it defined Harvard University as a season for gathering crops. — Andy Samberg
... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech. — Art Buchwald
... a relentless focus on the outward markers of success can lead to complacency. It can make you lazy. — Barack Obama
When I was here there was still a requirement that students had to swim 50 yards to graduate...because Harry Elkins Widener had drowned with the… — Barney Frank
Pay off your student loan. Even if you don't have a job...Because when you finally get a job you're going to be one of us. — Bill Cosby
I can tell you how bad our boards are... I don't have to watch Saturday Night Live anymore; I just go to the board meetings. — Carl Icahn
I've observed a few things about the few really great people I've had a chance to meet and cover...They need to be around people. You… — David Brooks
Now I usually try not to give advice. Information, yes, advice, no. But, what has worked for me may not work for you. Well, take… — Dolly Parton
Learn to trust yourself. That's very vital. ... Just stand with yourself. Remember, in his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only two paintings. I personally sold… — Eric Idle
In this time of recession, it is the time for invention. Did you know both the telephone and the automobile were invented during recessions? So… — Eugene Mirman
Remember that there's no one way of doing things. ... If you just get a hammer and hit it really hard, whatever it is, I… — Fred Armisen
I wish that someone had said to me that it's normal to feel lost for a little while. — Ira Glass
Live all of your life. Understand it, see it, appreciate it. And have fun. — Joss Whedon
When I made coffee and Xeroxed and distributed newspapers at ABC News, I thought my life was over. — Katie Couric
The work itself is the reward, and if I choose challenging work, it'll pay me back with interest. At least I'll be interested, even if… — Meryl Streep
I was a Democrat before I was a Republican before I became an independent and I never changed my principles. — Michael Bloomberg

Who Wrote These Funny Graduation Quotes

37 authors contributed a total of 37 Funny Graduation Quotes, led by these top contributors: