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Funny Christmas Quotes by Carol Nelson
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- Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by… — Dave Barry
- There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. — Erma Bombeck
- Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year. — Victor Borge
- The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. — George Carlin
- Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. — Johnny Carson
- Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip. — Gary Allan
- Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. — Andy Borowitz
- Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help. — Andy Borowitz
- My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries… — Dave Barry
- The principal advantage of the non-parental lifestyle is that on Christmas Eve you need not be struck dumb by the three most… — John Leo
- There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right? — Conan O'Brien
- Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday. — Andy Borowitz