Best Funeral Wisdom

514 Funeral quotes by 421 unique authors

I used to sing at funeral homes for families that didn't have a vocalist. I didn't get paid. I needed to sing. — Anita Baker
Today we know with certainty that segregation is dead. The only question remaining is how costly will be the funeral. — Martin Luther King, Jr.
Immigration along with nonwhite birthrates will make white people a minority totally vulnerable to the political, social, and economic will of blacks, Mexicans, Puerto Ricans,… — David Duke
... non-White Arab birthrates will make White Jewish people a minority totally vulnerable to the political, social, and economic will of non-Whites Arabs. A social… — David Duke
The chief mourner does not always attend the funeral. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
The first funeral for Andrew Goodman was at night and it was a lot of work. To begin with they had to kill him. — Jimmy Breslin
People ask me what makes a good funeral, and I tell them the most important thing is your man in the casket. If you have… — Cleveland Amory
The slaying of multitudes should be mourned with sorrow. A victory should be celebrated with the funeral rite. — Laozi
Many punishments sometimes, and in some cases, as much discredit a prince as many funerals a physician. — Ben Jonson
I've a great fancy to see my own funeral afore I die. — Maria Edgeworth
Grief remains one of the few things that has the power to silence us. It is a whisper in the world and a clamor within.… — Anna Quindlen
Few occasions are as joyous to small children as funerals, almost better than the big wedding blowouts that take place at night when it's hard… — Arthur Miller
What does long life avail? The best seats at the funerals of friends. — Delmore Schwartz
No American is prepared to attend his own funeral without the services of highly skilled cosmeticians. Part of the American dream, after all, is to… — Edgar Friedenberg
My present post amounts to about 700 thaler, and when there are rather more funerals than usual, the fees rise in proportion; but when a… — Johann Sebastian Bach
The death of every art form seems imminent at least once in every century; but while the very funeral arrangements go forward, some child is… — Reynolds Price
A [Jewish] woman could not divorce her husband, but she could petition for divorce, and the religious courts could force him to grant the divorce… — Israel Shenker
Obviously if you are an accountant, a criminal lawyer, a president, or a senator, or if you work in a funeral parlor, you have to… — Jean Pigozzi
They say a man is like a funeral ram which must take whatever beating comes to it without opening its mouth; only the silent tremor… — Chinua Achebe
One night in Tokyo we watched two Japanese businessmen saying good-night to each other after what had clearly been a long night of drinking, a… — Dave Barry
Everybody in New York, including police horses, dresses fashionably, and whenever I'm there, even in my sharpest funeral-quality suit with no visible ketchup stains, I… — Dave Barry
A thousand people will stop smoking today. Their funerals will be held sometime in the next three or four days. — C. Everett Koop
A funeral isn't for the dead. You'll simply be a stage set for a kind of festival maybe. And besides, you won't even be there. — John Steinbeck
Funeral expenses are the curse of the poor everywhere on earth, they are wasteful and unnecessary, they are the price of foolish ostentation and a… — Joyce Cary
The only way to have a funeral is to invite everyone who ever knew the person and just wait for the accident to happen-somebody who… — Philip Roth

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