Farting Quotes
26 quotes by 22 authors
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I feel like a drummer with no sticks and somebody keeps farting on my snare drum.
— Anthony Langston
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I'm too old to be farting around with stuff that isn't precisely what I want to do.
— Wes Borland
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I was like, what the hell is my life coming to? I'm a trained actor! I've done Shakespeare and here I am having farting contests…
— Matthew Lillard
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Hitler suffered acutely from meteorism; perhaps he did not suffer so acutely as those around him, since meteorism is uncontrolled farting, a condition exacerbated by…
— A. N. Wilson
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Relationships are like farting, If you push too hard things could get messy real fast.
— Kevin Hart
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If you're doing a family movie, you don't want it to be stupid. Farting chihuahuas is not my idea of entertainment for kids or adults.…
— Joe Dante
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My trumpeting sounds like a goose farting in the fog.
— Alex O'Loughlin
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John's old Caddie had a huge engine that would qualify as a human rights violation if built today. It roared down the road, chugging gas…
— David Wong
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Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did.
— P.J. O'Rourke
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A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke.
— Jenny Eclair
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Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.
— Graham Norton
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I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women.
— James Joyce
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I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. "Excuse me." she…
— Janet Evanovich
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(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)
— Tina Fey
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I take my rucksack and go out the opening where the front door used to be. Manchee gets up from where he's curled and follows…
— Patrick Ness
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On My First Driving Lesson “First things first: A car has five gears. What is that smell?…Okay, first thing before that first thing: Farting in…
— Justin Halpern
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My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting.
— Judy Gold
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Who needs xbox, when farting is the original Call of Duty.
— Nikhil Saluja
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Oh, and it'd be nice if I could fellate myself while farting the White album, but I haven't quite mastered that yet.
— Hank Moody
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That awkward moment when your shoe makes a farting noise and everybody looks at you. Then you try to make the sound again but it…
— Unknown Author
Who Wrote These Farting Quotes
22 authors contributed a total of 26 Farting Quotes as follows: