Farting Quotes

26 quotes by 22 authors

I feel like a drummer with no sticks and somebody keeps farting on my snare drum. — Anthony Langston
I'm too old to be farting around with stuff that isn't precisely what I want to do. — Wes Borland
I was like, what the hell is my life coming to? I'm a trained actor! I've done Shakespeare and here I am having farting contests… — Matthew Lillard
Hitler suffered acutely from meteorism; perhaps he did not suffer so acutely as those around him, since meteorism is uncontrolled farting, a condition exacerbated by… — A. N. Wilson
Relationships are like farting, If you push too hard things could get messy real fast. — Kevin Hart
If you're doing a family movie, you don't want it to be stupid. Farting chihuahuas is not my idea of entertainment for kids or adults.… — Joe Dante
My trumpeting sounds like a goose farting in the fog. — Alex O'Loughlin
John's old Caddie had a huge engine that would qualify as a human rights violation if built today. It roared down the road, chugging gas… — David Wong
Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. — P.J. O'Rourke
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. — Jenny Eclair
Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do. — Graham Norton
I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. — James Joyce
I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. "Excuse me." she… — Janet Evanovich
(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.) — Tina Fey
I take my rucksack and go out the opening where the front door used to be. Manchee gets up from where he's curled and follows… — Patrick Ness
On My First Driving Lesson â€œFirst things first: A car has five gears. What is that smell?â€¦Okay, first thing before that first thing: Farting in… — Justin Halpern
My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting. — Judy Gold
Who needs xbox, when farting is the original Call of Duty. — Nikhil Saluja
Oh, and it'd be nice if I could fellate myself while farting the White album, but I haven't quite mastered that yet. — Hank Moody
That awkward moment when your shoe makes a farting noise and everybody looks at you. Then you try to make the sound again but it… — Unknown Author

Who Wrote These Farting Quotes

22 authors contributed a total of 26 Farting Quotes as follows: