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- My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. — John Barrymore
- It has been said that a pretty face is a passport. But it's not, it's a visa, and it runs out fast. — Julie Burchill
- An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission. — Fred Allen
- If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat? — Tom Snyder
- That doesn't mean that you should just sit back and just let accidents happen to you. No, you have to go out… — P.J. O'Rourke
- The only time a bachelor's bed is made is when it's in the factory. — P.J. O'Rourke
- Things hurt me now. My knees hurt, my back hurts. But your head still thinks it's twenty-three. — George Clooney
- My ideal prom date would have to be cute, funny, sweet, nice. — Kendall Jenner
- If I ever do anything, it actually might be some fantasy elf thing or even some cute, funny thing. Just to do… — Todd McFarlane
- Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. — Benjamin Franklin
- I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it's somebody else's secretary, fine. — Barry Goldwater
- My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. — Benjamin Disraeli