Cuckoo Clocks Quotes by Alan Coren

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Alan Coren has 23 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.
• English Bohemianism is a curiously unluscious fruit. ... Inside this hothouse, huge lascivious orchids slide sensuously up the sweating windows, passion-flowers cross-pollinate…
• Can anything match that first fine discovery of the telephone and all it stood for? That first realization that, contained within ten…
• Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come
• To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.
• Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid…
• The Act of God designation on all insurance policies; which means, roughly, that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are…
• Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.
• Malta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.
• All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.
• Jacob is a German Shepherd. (I have never understood why they aren't called German Sheepdogs. What do the Germans call shepherds?)
• A humorist tells himself every morning, "I hope it's going to be a rough day." When things are going well, it's much…

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