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- It was either Voltaire or Charlie Sheen who said, 'We are born alone. We live alone. We die alone. And anything in… — Gabriel Byrne
- Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi looks in the mirror and sees a playboy of the old school. And men such as Dominique… — Graydon Carter
- I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face… — Charlie Sheen
- How much blow can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men. — Jon Lovitz
- It's going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking. Or as Charlie Sheen calls it: Breakfast. — Ricky Gervais
- Charlie Sheen is to stand-up what Larry Flynt is to standing up. — Jeff Ross
- Charlie Sheen called his boss on 'Two and a Half Men' a 'Jew ki**' and expected to go back to work. That’s crazy.… — Anthony Jeselnik
- I think Jon Cryer and Charlie Sheen have a lot of chemistry between them. — April Bowlby
- Charlie Sheen has the potential to cause your soul to weep and forfeit — Charlie Sheen
- If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I'm gonna be really pissed. — Chuck Lorre
- I exercise regularly. I eat moderate amounts of healthy food. I make sure to get plenty of rest. I see my doctor… — Chuck Lorre
- America pays its bills. It always has. It always will. The fact that Washington is now debating whether to honor its debts… — Peter Welch