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Bartender Quotes by Todd Barry
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- My mother taught public school, went to Harvard and then got her master's there and taught fifth and sixth grade in a… — Ben Affleck
- A conservative, a liberal, and a moderate walk into a bar. The bartender says, 'Hi, Mitt.' — Foster Friess
- Next to the defeated politician, the writer is the most vocal and inventive griper on earth. He sees hardship and unfairness wherever… — Peter Mayle
- Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.' — Rodney Dangerfield
- Comic Sans walked into a bar. The bartender frowned and said, We don't serve your type here. — Green Monk
- Wife treats hubby (Jim) on his birthday by taking him to a strip club. At the club: Doorman: Hey Jim! how are… — Zhat*
- A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good… — Jim Bishop
- I believe that in your heart you already know something is profoundly wrong. When bartenders are responsible for drunk drivers' acts, and… — Charlton Heston