Todd Barry Quotes

67 quotes in 617 categories

• I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable.
• I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of…
• I had temping jobs also. I liked the flexibility. There was no asking for time off; you just didn't work.
• I once sat next to Jim from Wild Kingdom on a flight from Atlanta. I find mentioning that opens a lot of doors.
• People don't understand that that's really what it is. They're looking for a magic phone number or something. And to a certain extent, I understand…
• If you see me at a restaurant, blow me a kiss, wave, blow me another kiss, then walk five steps backward.
• Anyone who bombs is my friend.
• I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up.
• I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport.
• I don't feel I'm even worthy of a normal amount of value.
• I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians.
• I guess there seems to be clubs opening up again, which is strange.
• I don't really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I'd be a contrarian pirate.
• I have a podiatrist appointment at 2.
• I like Cilantro, but you don't have to.
• I used to write things out beforehand. But sometimes it backfires
• I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting…
• I liked the koala, wallaby, and I chilled with a kangaroo a bit. There was a wombat that I quite enjoyed also
• There's people that are just in awe of what you do, and then there are people who just think it's garbage. And I think there…
• It was actually 3 years between albums. That seems like a long time to me

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