Best Assholes Quotes

133 Assholes quotes by 105 unique authors

A slightly modified version of the Serenity Prayer: Lord, grant me the serenity to ignore the assholes I cannot avoid; The luck to avoid the… — Kelly Williams Brown
There's something exciting and incredibly liberating for an artist to finish something Friday night and the world hears it Friday night instead of eight months… — Trent Reznor
The rich are the most discriminated-against minority in the world. Openly or covertly, everybody hates the rich because, openly or covertly, everybody envies the rich.… — Tom Robbins
Don't feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that. — Haruki Murakami
You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes. — Larry David
We’re sick of hearing people say, “That band is so gay,” or “Those guys are fags.” Gay is not a synonym for shitty. If you… — Pete Wentz
You know what's wrong with scientific power? It's a form of inherited wealth. And you know what assholes congenitally rich people are. — Michael Crichton
You take girls, for example. They're copying their moms and magazines and everything to know how to act around guys. I mean it's not like… — Stephen Chbosky
I used to think the world was broken down by tribes,' I said. 'By Black and White. By Indian and White. But I know this… — Sherman Alexie
Only assholes put a nickname on their business card. — Michael Crichton
Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one but they think each others stink. — Simone Elkeles
Regardless of what I think about Islam or Wicca or any other religion, the fact is that it's a group of people. Every faith has… — Jim Butcher
The problem was you had to keep choosing between one evil or another, and no matter what you chose, they sliced a little more off… — Charles Bukowski
So what happened? (Maggie) Nothing major. It’s just a group of assholes out to kill me. (Wren) — Sherrilyn Kenyon
And as I recall, you told me to shut up. (Acheron) I’m an asshole. I admit it. I’ve been going to weekly Assholes Anonymous meetings,… — Sherrilyn Kenyon
They’re plotting against you. (Jaden) Who? (Jericho) Your best friends, fool, who do you think? The Easter Bunny or the assholes who brought you here?… — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Wold domination is exhausting and cliche. People ought to just focus on being individual responsible citizens of the earth instead of assholes. — Rachel Cohn
You don’t like Talon, do you? (Sunshine) Wish him dead every time I see him. (Zarek) I can’t tell if you mean that or not.… — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Remember how, back in 1990, if you used a cellphone in public you looked like a total asshole? We're all assholes now. — Douglas Coupland
The world is divided by two different tribes. The people who are assholes and the people who are not. — Sherman Alexie
Issues are like assholes, we've all got one," Pam snipped. — Tonya Hurley
Why is it you assholes always feel the need to tell the media your evil plans before you kill us?” asked Becks. “Is it a… — Mira Grant
Ninety-five percent of people who walk the earth are simply inert. One percent are saints, and one percent are assholes. The other three percent are… — Stephen King
What's wrong with assholes, baby? — Charles Bukowski
I don't know if watching Chaz Bono will turn your kids into transsexuals, but I'm pretty sure that letting them watch Keith Ablow will turn… — Lewis Black

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