Being successful Quote by Bonnie McFarlane

Just a tip if you have a big event to go to or an important meeting, if you cry enough your face swells up…

— Bonnie McFarlane

I don't think cops should wear mirrored sunglasses; the whole time the guy was chewing me out, all I could think was I should…

— Bonnie McFarlane

When you're pregnant, people feel like they can come up and give you unsolicited advice. When I was nine months pregnant, this one woman…

— Bonnie McFarlane

One of my favorite sketches, and a popular comedy formula, is to put someone with a mental handicap in some kind of unlikely situation.…

— Bonnie McFarlane

If you enjoy shaming people, I suggest dentistry as a profession.

— Bonnie McFarlane

There's no such thing as a feminist - just women who pay for their own breast implants.

— Bonnie McFarlane

If you really are superior, you don't go around saying you're superior - unless you're Jewish.

— Bonnie McFarlane

I think it's creepy if a guy says, I would never hit a girl. Cause that should go without saying. That's like if you…

— Bonnie McFarlane

I love my hunting dog. I loved my hunting dog - I'm not very good at hunting.

— Bonnie McFarlane

When one door closes another door opens. Usually a refrigerator.

— Bonnie McFarlane

Intellectually, I think everyone really knows that women are funny, but it's a weird thing that people keep trotting out.

— Bonnie McFarlane

It's interesting, once I have convinced people that, yes, I have a sister with a mental disability, the retard jokes really dry up, so…

— Bonnie McFarlane