My sister is also retarded. Across the board. She's a one hundred per cent, honest to goodness, born that way retard. I learned a long time ago that if you're going to tell a story about your retarded sister, you… — Bonnie McFarlane Copy Share Image
My sister might be dumb, but that doesn't make her all that different from the rest of us. She's just like any other American. Except she's Canadian. And retarded. — Bonnie McFarlane Copy Share Image
Just a tip if you have a big event to go to or an important meeting, if you cry enough your face swells up… — Bonnie McFarlane Copy Share Image
I don't think cops should wear mirrored sunglasses; the whole time the guy was chewing me out, all I could think was I should… — Bonnie McFarlane Copy Share Image
When you're pregnant, people feel like they can come up and give you unsolicited advice. When I was nine months pregnant, this one woman… — Bonnie McFarlane Copy Share Image
One of my favorite sketches, and a popular comedy formula, is to put someone with a mental handicap in some kind of unlikely situation.… — Bonnie McFarlane Copy Share Image
If you enjoy shaming people, I suggest dentistry as a profession. — Bonnie McFarlane Copy Share Image
You know, women are burdened with all this other crap all the time, like looking good. You need to be really superhuman to be… — Bonnie McFarlane Copy Share Image
There's no such thing as a feminist - just women who pay for their own breast implants. — Bonnie McFarlane Copy Share Image
If you really are superior, you don't go around saying you're superior - unless you're Jewish. — Bonnie McFarlane Copy Share Image
I think it's creepy if a guy says, I would never hit a girl. Cause that should go without saying. That's like if you… — Bonnie McFarlane Copy Share Image
I love my hunting dog. I loved my hunting dog - I'm not very good at hunting. — Bonnie McFarlane Copy Share Image
Intellectually, I think everyone really knows that women are funny, but it's a weird thing that people keep trotting out. — Bonnie McFarlane Copy Share Image
