Child psychology Quote by Bessel Van Der Kolk
““While reliving trauma is dramatic, frightening, and potentially self-destructive, over time a lack of presence can be even more damaging. This is a particular problem with traumatized children. The acting-out kids tend to get attention; the blanked-out ones don’t bother anybody and are left to lose their future bit by bit.””
About This Quote
Source Book: The Body Keeps the Score, 2014
Trauma can manifest as either overt acting out or silent disengagement, both harmful, but the hidden emptiness can erode a child's future gradually.
In simple terms: Both dramatic and silent trauma responses are damaging, especially the silent ones.
Key Takeaway
Recognize and support children who seem withdrawn.
Themes
trauma
child development
psychology
presence
healing
Mood
empathetic
concerned
urgent
Type
clinical
educational
reflective
When to use this quote
- school counseling
- family therapy
- mindfulness practices
- training teachers to notice subtle signs
Key Concepts
attachment theory
neurobiology
resilience
early intervention
Questions to Reflect On
- How can we better identify silent trauma?
- What systems can protect disengaged children?
A Different Perspective
Overemphasis on visible trauma may neglect those who are silent.
