Calling one thing 'literature' and another 'fiction' is a way to create status where there is none. — Tucker Max Books Copy Share Image
Publishing companies are like schoolyard bullies that can't even fight well. — Tucker Max Bullies Copy Share Image
We can't get kicked out of McDonald's! This is like the DMZ of drunk eating. — Tucker Max Drunk Copy Share Image
Hollywood, it's just like high school. Whoever is pretty and popular, everyone wants to be with. — Tucker Max High school Copy Share Image
Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven. — Tucker Max Alcohol Copy Share Image
When I give speeches at college, I don't tell stories, I talk about what it is to live your dreams and take… — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
Yes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but everyone forgets the second half of that quote: the road to… — Tucker Max Action Copy Share Image
You can't do anything yourself on TV... unless you have a LOT of money, but you can do an independent movie. — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
“credit, youre jewish, your best friend is black, and your girlfriend is a cheating whore. Even if I wore gay, I'd still… — Tucker Max Best friend Copy Share Image
I don't even pursue girls anymore. I mean, I could obviously still pursue girls. It's not like I can't. But I don't… — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
“His first question shows how well he knows me: TheRoommate: "Did you take any money out of her purse?” — Tucker Max Money Copy Share Image
Theatrical success is predominantly two variables: who the distributor is and how much money they spend. — Tucker Max Distributor Copy Share Image
I never understand why women think drama and bullshit are attractive to guys. They’re not. I’m going to be real clear about… — Tucker Max Attention Copy Share Image
If you just don't have any idea what you want to do, the worst thing you can do is go to law… — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
I started my blog in 2002. That was pre-MySpace, pre-Facebook. That was back before newspapers realized they were going out of business.… — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
“8:58 We go to McDonald's. The woman in front of me in line spends more than five seconds contemplating her order. This… — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
A lot of people think that since I'm drunk in my stories, I must be drunk 24 hours a day. What kind… — Tucker Max Basketball Copy Share Image
The thing that I think about the most, and is the most rewarding to me, is the whole past. That I kind… — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
Think about it: If you don't have any actual, tangible skills, then how can you do anything? You may be laughing and… — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
To my friends and people I care about, I'm a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I… — Tucker Max Care Copy Share Image
Frankly, I'd rather make a little bit less money if it means living in a better world for books and publishing in… — Tucker Max Better world Copy Share Image
A personal brand is relevant to people who sell or create something relevant to who they are as a person. If you're… — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
“she was quite promiscuous, to the point where dating her was similar to the experience of sitting on a warm toilet seat:” — Tucker Max Dating Copy Share Image
This may come as a shock to some of you, but I have a slightly volatile personality. I don’t suffer fools well. — Tucker Max Fool Copy Share Image
To get hwat you want out of life, all you really need to do is be honest about it, don't be afraid… — Tucker Max Being honest Copy Share Image
There is no number or level of success that would make me think, 'Wow, I didn't think that was possible.' — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
I think that there's a lot of guys out there that want to read the equivalent of chick lit, but really there's… — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
I'm not even the coolest one of my friends. I'm just the guy who sat down and wrote everything down. Like I… — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
You know, even big-time academics kind of have groupies. Anyone with any sort of fame. So, like, in your micro-world, or in… — Tucker Max Academics Copy Share Image
“5:15 I have never put makeup on. It's hard. "You assholes are crowding my mirror space. Gimme some room, I keep smearing… — Tucker Max Makeup Copy Share Image
I'm a human. Every human is flawed. I might be flawed in different ways than some people, or worse ways than some… — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
Most people's lives are nothing more than pointlessly frantic activity used as a psychological defense against their own impotence and fear. — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
“5:16 I shotgun two beers, piss out the bedroom window, catcall passing girls, burp violently, put cage fighting on tv, play with… — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
“Look, I know everything is shitty right now, but if you don't stop acting like such a bitch, someones gonna fuck that… — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
I love women, I love alcohol, and I love combining the two. If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a… — Tucker Max Alcohol Copy Share Image
Motherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt. — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
Unless you plan on making academia your life, all you need to know about postmodernism is that its premises are fundamentally wrong. — Tucker Max Academia Copy Share Image
I'm a decent-looking guy, but I've never walked into a room and got a girl because of how I looked. Look, I'm… — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
Communication is not what we say, but what you hear (which is a lesson I wish our educational system understood) — Tucker Max Communication Copy Share Image
My favorite random email I got was from some guy who wrote: "Mr. Max, with the hope of a six year old… — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
