“Anubis – A god with a man’s body and the head of a dog or jackal.” — Tim Collins God Copy Share Image
“Today was so pointless that when I tried to write about it a moment ago, my pen ran out because it couldn't… — Tim Collins Writing Copy Share Image
“The harsh wind of the Egyptian desert is even worse than the harsh wind of the Egyptian pharaoh.” — Tim Collins Copy Share Image
“Hear that, Mr. De Pfeffel Cantab or whatever your name is? That's the sound of the villa in the South of France… — Tim Collins Prince-of-dorkness Copy Share Image
“Today I asked Chloe to be my girlfriend,and she agreed. I sank my teeth into her neck and drank from her jugular… — Tim Collins April fool Copy Share Image
“I wanted to tell him my new clothes were down to a medical condition, but when I tried to speak, all that… — Tim Collins Copy Share Image
“What a strange god to worship. I’m sure he’s great at answering your prayers, as long as you want a stick fetching… — Tim Collins God Copy Share Image
“And how does my leg feel after all that so-called treatment? Worse, of course.” — Tim Collins Copy Share Image
“I've glued the letter directly into my diary, as it's so staggeringly imbecilic that any attempt to summarize its contents would make… — Tim Collins Prince-of-dorkness Copy Share Image
