“Liz rolled her eyes at me and I resisted the urge to reach over the console and punch her in the vagina.… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I had been out of the game for too long. I couldn’t even get drunk and flirt anymore. I could however, get… — Tara Sivec Too long Copy Share Image
“Could you stand still please?' Sylvia says in an irritated voice. If she had sweaty balls and an almost-boner she wouldn't be… — Tara Sivec Humor Copy Share Image
“Everything was wrong when you were gone. Nothing made sense without you here. I didn’t know how to be happy without you.… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Aaarrggg, ahoy me matey, thars a great grand vagina over yonder." Penises talk like pirates when I'm drunk.” — Tara Sivec Chocolate-lovers Copy Share Image
“Wow, I'm surprised you remembered. When you left the bar you were crying and singing at the top of your lungs '… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I feel like I’m in The Crying Game right now,” Dad mutters with a sad shake of his head.” — Tara Sivec Right now Copy Share Image
“Will you stop calling it ‘stalking’? That’s such a harsh term. I prefer ‘anonymous following.” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“I’ve waited long enough. Shelby is the main reason I’m still here, alive and kicking, and it’s time she knows that. It’s… — Tara Sivec Time Copy Share Image
“I want to reach in my pants, pull out my virginity, wrap it up and put a bow on it. Or maybe… — Tara Sivec Humor Copy Share Image
“I never should have left you. I’ll never stop loving you, even if you hate me for walking away.” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Claire was going to hate me. Our son was sucked into the pits of hell while I was watching General Hospital. God… — Tara Sivec Funny-and-random Copy Share Image
“I want the thunder and lightning, I want the crash of the storm and I want whatever destruction it will leave behind.” — Tara Sivec Thunder and lightning Copy Share Image
“After the epidural was firmly in place, I double checked that we had a waiver on file that states we would own… — Tara Sivec Double check Copy Share Image
“In hind sight, telling him all strangers wanted to eat him wasn’t my finest hour. Having to explain to a bunch of… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Wow, she doesn't have any bones. Like, at all. Where the f*ck are her bones? Am I still drunk? Did I sleep… — Tara Sivec Humor Copy Share Image
“Yes, the answer is yes! If he keeps talking to me like that he can stick it in my ear.” — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Love and lists. Just remember, love and lists. Nothing else matters.” — Tara Sivec Love Copy Share Image
“What are you smiling about? Do you have gas?" Drew joked. "Hey, Mommy, Carter has a HUGE wiener," Gavin said around a… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
