I lift my restraining order against sobriety for 40 days each Lent. I miss you alcohol. — Rudy Espinoza Alcohol Copy Share Image
She: What do you really want from me? Me: I really want you to lower your standards so I can climb on… — Rudy Espinoza Climb Copy Share Image
When my erection lasts for more than 4 hours after taking Viagra, I don't go see a doctor, I go see a… — Rudy Espinoza Antidote Copy Share Image
America - where people get more worked up over a bicyclist's lies than a president's lies. — Rudy Espinoza America Copy Share Image
When people ask me, How the hell did you score that chick? I say, If she's dumb enough to love me, I'm… — Rudy Espinoza Beast Copy Share Image
