Best Roseanne Barr Quotations
- When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he… All
- Why have I been chosen to deliver the message of female intelligence and its divinity to a deaf world of males? I have asked my… Answered
- 'Winning' in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you are peaking. Complimentary
- Women of this planet need some essential resources: wells, seeds and roads. That is primarily all we have ever needed. Added to that, women need… Ability
- You know when you first get rich, and you, like, just buy everything that you see? I did that for several years. And I have… Buy
- I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job. Alive
- A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like a doughnut. Created
- I first would allow the guilty bankers to pay, you know, the ability to pay back anything over $100 million [of] personal wealth because I… Ability
- Part of my platform is, of course, the guilty must be punished and that we no longer let our children see their guilty leaders getting… Any
- A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer. Another Drummer
- Adults in a free country should be able to smoke a joint if they want to. Able
- Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight. Half
- Hillary Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama cannot win, and they are put in place to assure a victory by Mitt Romney... this is the plan… All
- There is no scarier chasm of darkness than the human mind. Chasm
- Laugh every day as much as you can. Day
- Your body is your instrument, you play it expertly. Body
- I want to eat, cook, meet famous people and make fun of them. Cook
- There's nothing like a hardship song to set my toes a-tappin. Cynicism
- The fact that my grown kids like to hang out with me, I mean, it just - I don't think it really can get any… Any
- A lot of people in television who've had successful shows claim the 'Roseanne' show as their starting place, and I'm really proud of that. Claim
- And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny. Funny
- I call myself a 'domestic goddess. Call
- I have horrible stage fright - you know how you go through the bi-polar stage fright thing? Then you go on drugs to get over… All
- I'm so much more famous than I am financially successful. Famous
- My dad taught me swears when I was a toddler, and I saw, at a really early age, that if I shocked people, I would… Addicted
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