All RJ Berger Quotes
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You're going out with the Dark Knight?
Dark
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That kid's like 5 feet of pure Columbine.
Columbine
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My name is R.J. Berger, and crime doesn't pay... at least not for me.
Berger
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Is that peanut oil and burnt hair?
Burnt
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My name is RJ Berger, and taking the bus sucks.
Berger
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100% guaranteed, no strings attached, porn-quality sex.
Attached
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What are you? The shamwow guy?
Guy
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School won't pay to fix the brakes on this yellow turd!
Brakes
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It's called walking to school, fatty!
Called
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I'm telling you, dude, school dances, they're just a conspiracy
Conspiracy
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It's gonna be epic. Not as epic as the sex I'll be having after the winter formal.
Epic
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I'm gonna get some bite marks on my hang-low Saturday. Kevin, assuming you're even capable of getting a boner after sitting on your balls for…
Assuming
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Fact. of all high school girls lose their virginity at school-sponsored dances.
All
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Most guys wouldn't be caught dead with a deaf girl! But, hey, I'm not most guys!
Caught
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Look, my dating life up until now has been a complete disaster, and if I'm not careful, my virginity will take on, like, a life…
Been
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I still can't believe you asked mini Chewbacca to the winter formal!
Asked
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I'm tired of attractive guys who wouldn't flatten me during sex.
Attractive
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How does your last full day of virginity feel?
Day
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She's, um... Yeah, yeah, yeah, the one that looks like one of them klingons from Star Wars.
From
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When you look back on your sorry-ass life 30 years from now, do you want to be the loser who did the right thing, or…
Ass
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First off, I've never seen one of you two cream puffs break a sweat. And second, that wasn't wrestling. That was two lady dogs fighting…
Ass
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