Rita Rudner

(1953) Screenwriter United States

217 quotes in 1007 categories

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Rita Rudner is a screenwriter from the United States, best known for Naked Beneath My Clothes: Tales of a Revealing Nature.

Quick Facts About Rita Rudner

Born: September 17, 1953
Nationality: United States
Profession: Screenwriter
Notable works: Naked Beneath My Clothes: Tales of a Revealing Nature

About Rita Rudner

She noticed a lack of female comedians in New York City, switched to stand‑up comedy, performed for over three decades, appeared in HBO specials and on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, becoming a notable comic of the 1980s comedy boom.

Quotes by Rita Rudner · Page 6

Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said,…

Rita Rudner

Candy

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I like whomever to come to my shows. I want people who want to see me to come see me. I don't…

Rita Rudner

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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have…

Rita Rudner

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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's…

Rita Rudner

Cooking

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Never play peek-a-boo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by…

Rita Rudner

Children

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Natural childbirth scares me. I think before you have natural childbirth you should find out how big the baby is. Three pounds…

Rita Rudner

Baby

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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for…

Rita Rudner

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There is a woman who swam around Manhattan, and I asked her, why? She said, it hadn't ever been done before. Well,…

Rita Rudner

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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and…

Rita Rudner

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While I do occasionally order items on the Internet, it's hard to teach an old shopper new tricks. I'm convinced that the…

Rita Rudner

Baby

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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would…

Rita Rudner

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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men…

Rita Rudner

Body

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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time…

Rita Rudner

Body

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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got…

Rita Rudner

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I think the most important thing about learning comedy is to start from who you are. If you begin the process by…

Rita Rudner

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I can see close up and my husband can see far away, so we're covered. He tells me who's in the movie…

Rita Rudner

Bifocals

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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to…

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner by topic

Men (70) Funny (55) Humor (49) Marriage (27) Parenting (20) People (16) Mother (14) Thinking (12) Love (12) Life (11) Husband (11) Food (10) Comedy (10)