Mike Royko

Hollywood has always been political. They consider it their right and duty to tell us what is politically good and right.

— Mike Royko

The subject of criminal rehabilitation was debated recently in City Hall. It's an appropriate place for this kind of discussion because the…

— Mike Royko

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax.

— Mike Royko

It's unnatural for people to run around the city streets unless they are thieves or victims. It makes people nervous to see…

— Mike Royko

“The thing that got Daley mad," one of the delegates said later, "was that Ribicoff had been ass-kissing him just a day…

— Mike Royko

“A Pessimist sees the glass as half empty; A Cub Fan wonders when it's gonna spill.” ― Mike Royko”

— Mike Royko

So if you visit Chicago, enjoy the many great courses, the Midwestern friendliness, and the cities other amenities. But if a stranger…

— Mike Royko

When I conducted a beer-rating session last year, I wrote that most American beers taste as if they were brewed through a…

— Mike Royko

Strict gun laws are about as effective as strict drug laws...It pains me to say this, but the NRA seems to be…

— Mike Royko

Forty years ago, we were on the tail of the Front Page era. There was a different point of view. Reporters and…

— Mike Royko

“So, for a variety of reasons, ranging from convenience to fear to economics, people stayed in their own neighborhood, loving it, enjoying…

— Mike Royko

It's much harder to be a liberal than a conservative. Why? Because it is easier to give someone the finger than a…

— Mike Royko

It's been my policy to view the Internet not as an 'information highway,' but as an electronic asylum filled with babbling loonies.

— Mike Royko

When I asked him how long he had been driving a taxi, he said, Dree mouse.

— Mike Royko

Contrary to popular belief. It's much wiser to take money from the poor than the rich.

— Mike Royko

If God dislikes gays so much, how come he picked Michelangelo, a known homosexual, to paint the Sistine Chapel ceiling while assigning…

— Mike Royko

“The neighborhood-towns were part of larger ethnic states. To the north of the Loop was Germany. To the northwest was Poland. To…

— Mike Royko

Hollywood likes to boast that it can elevate the national conscience.

— Mike Royko

Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you somebody who hasn't the faintest idea…

— Mike Royko

God tipped the country and all the fruits and nuts rolled west.

— Mike Royko

For some people, being free means being free to keep their feet on someone else's chest.

— Mike Royko

In attacking the young, the liberal, and the black, Daley was in the mainstream of America's mass prejudices. The Democratic party may…

— Mike Royko

“He runs City Hall like a small family business and keeps everybody on a short rein. They do only that which they…

— Mike Royko

Reagan's approach will achieve one of the basic goals of the conservative: Things remain basically the same. The rich stay rich and…

— Mike Royko

A Pessimist sees the glass as half empty; A Cub Fan wonders when it's gonna spill.

— Mike Royko