Louis CK Quotes

20 quotes in 276 categories

• Suck a bag of dicks!
• They charged me 15 dollars. That's how much it costs to only have 20 dollars.
• How many advantages can one person have? I'm a white man!
• Last week I got a flu that I caught, 'cause my daughter coughedinto my mouth.
• A man will cut your arm off and throw it in a river, but he'll leave you as a human being intact. He won't fuck…
• The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate myself.
• I'm buying a Cinnabonat the airportI arrived at. You understand why that's extra disgusting, right? Because when you're at the airport you're leaving from, you…
• When girls go wild, they show their tits to people. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.
• Look, it's some cunt coming out of that cunt's cunt.
• My dick is too aware that your pussy is a chamber of financial ruin!
• 'I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of. And even the…
• I really think it's crazy that we hit our kids. It really is. Here's the crazy part about it. inds are the only people in…
• You're all gonna die. Then you'll be dead for way longer than you're alive, like that's mostly what you're ever gonna be. You're just dead…
• I thought for like five years that when you have sex, you come and one of your balls comes out. That's what I thought happened,…
• Im bored is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of. Even…

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