“committed to a life of honesty, love and discipline, we must be willing to commit ourselves to reality.” — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
There are plenty of quacks in the field. Fewer than you'd expect, though still plenty (in alternative medicine). — John Bradshaw Age Copy Share Image
As a child I was not allowed to express my feelings, so I had to go back through therapy and express the… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
In 'Reclaiming Virtue,' I argue that we have had an element missing in moral education. That element is 'affect.' Affect is simply… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“A toxically shamed person is divided within himself and must create a false-self cover-up to hide his sense of being flawed and… — John Bradshaw Shamed Copy Share Image
“Superachievement and perfectionism are two of the leading cover-ups for toxic shame. As paradoxical as it may seem, the straight-A student and… — John Bradshaw Guilt Copy Share Image
“A covert kind of sexual abuse occurs when Dad or Mom talk about sex in front of the children when the age… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
It's essential to tell the truth at all times. This will reduce life's pain. Lying distorts reality. All forms of distorted thinking… — John Bradshaw Life Copy Share Image
It is a mark of soulfulness to be present in the here and now. When we are present, we are not fabricating… — John Bradshaw Artist Copy Share Image
Children are curious and are risk takers. They have lots of courage. They venture out into a world that is immense and… — John Bradshaw Child Copy Share Image
The unlimited power that many modern gurus offer is false hope. Their programs calling us to unlimited power have made them rich,… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
The drivenness in any addiction is about the ruptured self, the belief that one is flawed as a person. The content of… — John Bradshaw Addiction Copy Share Image
“This transformation involves three dynamics: 1. The identification with shame-based models and the carrying of their unexpressed shame. 2. The trauma of… — John Bradshaw Change Copy Share Image
“NEED SHAME BINDS When these needs are neglected, children are given the message that their needs are not important, and they lose… — John Bradshaw Child Copy Share Image
“High achievement is often the result of being driven by toxic shame. Feeling flawed and defective on the inside, I had to… — John Bradshaw Achievement Copy Share Image
Science has so far been unable to tell us how self-aware dogs are, much less whether they have anything like our conscious… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“SHAME-BASED FAMILIES AND MULTIGENERATIONAL ILLNESS One of the devastating aspects of toxic shame is that it is multigenerational. The secret and hidden… — John Bradshaw Family Copy Share Image
I define a 'good person' as somebody who is fully conscious of their own limitations. They know their strengths, but they also… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“The job of parents is to model. Modeling includes how to be a man or woman; how to relate intimately to another… — John Bradshaw Child Copy Share Image
“When parents are shame-based and needy, they are unable to take over the mirroring narcissistic function for the child. Furthermore, the fact… — John Bradshaw Adult children Copy Share Image
“When children have shame-based parents, they identify with them. This is the first step in the child’s internalizing shame because the children… — John Bradshaw Abandonment Copy Share Image
“The major problem in our lives is to decide and clarify our responsibilities. To truly be committed to a life of honesty,… — John Bradshaw Character Copy Share Image
“INTERCONNECTION OF IMAGERY Another way that internalization occurs is by internalizing images. These internal images can be of a shaming person, place… — John Bradshaw Guilt Copy Share Image
“If our primary caregivers are shame-based, they will act shameless and pass their toxic shame onto us. There is no way to… — John Bradshaw Guilt Copy Share Image
“Family secrets can go back for generations. They can be about suicides, homicides, incest, abortions, addictions, public loss of face, financial disaster,… — John Bradshaw Family Copy Share Image
“3. Blame. Whenever things don’t turn out as planned, blame yourself or others. Blame is another defensive cover-up for shame. Blame maintains… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“Alice Miller writes: There are large numbers of people who suffer from narcissistic disorders, who often had sensitive and caring parents from… — John Bradshaw Gifts and talents Copy Share Image
Our beliefs create the kind of world we believe in. We project our feelings, thoughts and attitudes onto the world. I can… — John Bradshaw Belief Copy Share Image
Guilt says I've done something wrong; ... shame says there is something wrong with me. Guilt says I've made a mistake; ...… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“We humans are finite, “perfectly imperfect.” Limitation is our essential nature. Grave problems result from refusing to accept our limits. Healthy shame… — John Bradshaw Guilt Copy Share Image
“With the child already shame-based, the feeling of discouragement takes over the whole personality. As the shame-based child forms her primitive conscience,… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
“When we are exposed without any way to protect ourselves, we feel the pain of shame. If we are continually overexposed, shame… — John Bradshaw Shame Copy Share Image
“When our instinctual life is shamed, the natural core of our life is bound up. It’s like an acorn going through excruciating… — John Bradshaw Life Copy Share Image
The capacity for love that makes dogs such rewarding companions has a flip-side: They find it difficult to cope without us. Since… — John Bradshaw Animal Copy Share Image
“Hell, in my opinion, is never finding your true self and never living your own life or knowing who you are. This… — John Bradshaw Hell Copy Share Image
To be shame-bound means that whenever you feel any feeling, need or drive, you immediately feel ashamed. The dynamic core of your… — John Bradshaw Ashamed Copy Share Image
“In functional families the roles are chosen and are flexible. The members have the choice of giving up the roles. In dysfunctional… — John Bradshaw Family Copy Share Image
Children need parents who model self-discipline rather than preach it. They learn from what their parents are actually willing to do; not… — John Bradshaw Child Copy Share Image
I try to get people thinking, to consider their pasts and presents, ultimately encouraging them and giving them the tools to embrace… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“I see affect or feeling as the primary innate biological motivating mechanism, more urgent than drive deprivation and pleasure and more urgent… — John Bradshaw Motivation Copy Share Image
