“the male cat’s penis is equipped with 120 to 150 sharp spines, designed to trigger her ovulation (cats, unlike humans, do not… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“Operant conditioning is not confined to deliberate training; it is one way that cats learn how to deal with whatever surroundings they… — John Bradshaw Cats Copy Share Image
When I walked out of the seminary, I was 31, but I was like a scared, frightened kid. I had no place… — John Bradshaw Catholic Copy Share Image
“DYNAMIC HOMEOSTASIS Dynamic homeostasis means that whenever a part of the system is out of balance, the rest of the members of… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“One is free from depression,” writes Alice Miller in The Drama of the Gifted Child, “when self-esteem is based on the authenticity… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
“CHIEF COMPONENT The chief component in the family system is the marriage. If the marriage is healthy and functional, the family will… — John Bradshaw Family Copy Share Image
True love heals and affects spiritual growth. If we do not grow because of someone else’s love, it’s generally because it is… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“Toxically shamed people tend to become more and more stagnant as life goes on. They live in a guarded, secretive and defensive… — John Bradshaw Guilt Copy Share Image
“Crushing the toddler’s autonomy and purposeful will is the most damaging form of shaming that can be done. When autonomy is crushed,… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
Our sadness is an energy we discharge in order to heal. …Sadness is painful. We try to avoid it. Actually discharging sadness… — John Bradshaw Emotional Copy Share Image
“SHAME—THE MASTER EMOTION Shame has been called the master emotion because as it is internalized-all the other emotions are bound by shame.… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
“Pocaterra looked at blushing as the external sign of shame and believed that blushing was both the recognition of having made a… — John Bradshaw Blushing Copy Share Image
“A child can only experience his feelings when there is someone there who fully accepts them, names them and supports them. Another… — John Bradshaw Abandonment Copy Share Image
“To be severed and alienated within oneself also creates a sense of unreality. One may have an all-pervasive sense of never quite… — John Bradshaw Authentic self Copy Share Image
“PERFECTIONISM Perfectionism is a family system rule and a core culprit in creating toxic shame. We see it also in both the… — John Bradshaw Family Copy Share Image
“Being abandoned through the neglect of our developmental dependency needs is the major factor in becoming an adult child. We grow up;… — John Bradshaw Becoming an adult Copy Share Image
“Another dynamic aspect of the sexual conversion of basic needs is the pleasure of sexual orgasm itself. When one is shamed through… — John Bradshaw Communication Copy Share Image
“SHAME AS THE CORE AND FUEL OF ALL ADDICTION Neurotic shame is the root and fuel of all compulsive/addictive behaviors. My general… — John Bradshaw Addiction Copy Share Image
“SHAME-BASED FAMILY RULES Each family system has several categories of rules. There are rules about celebrating and socializing, rules about touching and… — John Bradshaw Family Copy Share Image
“THE DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY RULES 1. Control or Chaos. One must be in control of all interactions, feelings and personal behavior at all… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
“5. The “No Talk” Rule. This rule prohibits the full expression of any feeling, need or want. In shame-based families, the members… — John Bradshaw Communication Copy Share Image
“In the past, when dogs’ functions were mostly rural, it was accepted that they were intrinsically messy and needed to be managed… — John Bradshaw Animal Copy Share Image
“Anger is considered especially bad. Anger is one of the seven deadly sins. These sins send you to hell. In its most… — John Bradshaw Anger Copy Share Image
“Richard Bandler suggested that one of the major blocks to creativity was the feeling of knowing you are right. When we think… — John Bradshaw Creativity Copy Share Image
Recovery begins with embracing our pain and taking the risk to share it with others. We do this by joining a group… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“In fact, the most paradoxical aspect of neurotic shame is that it is the core motivator of the superachieved and the underachieved,… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
Many self-help books give you these neat, tidy formulas that are really illusions. They dupe people into thinking, 'Well if I can… — John Bradshaw Books Copy Share Image
“Because the exposure of self to self lies at the heart of neurotic shame, escape from the self is necessary. The escape… — John Bradshaw Authentic self Copy Share Image
The feeling of righteousness is the core mood alteration among religious addicts. Religious addiction is a massive problem in our society. It… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“The fantasy bond is an illusion of connectedness that the child creates in relation to the primary caregiver, who is shaming her.… — John Bradshaw Bonding Copy Share Image
“the narcissistic personality disorder are: Grandiosity, extreme self-involvement, and lack of interest and empathy for others, in spite of the pursuit of… — John Bradshaw Jealousy Copy Share Image
“PEER GROUP SHAMING I remember Arnold. He was a brilliant accountant. He had been viciously shamed in high school. His presenting problem… — John Bradshaw Finding fault Copy Share Image
“If a cat falls out of a high-rise building or a tall tree, it has another trick available: forming a “parachute” by… — John Bradshaw Cats Copy Share Image
“Where are you, Adam? According to the book of Genesis, Adam went into hiding after the fall. By trying to be more… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“The agony of this chronic stage of being cannot be endured for long. At the deepest level, toxic shame triggers our basic… — John Bradshaw Guilt Copy Share Image
“Unconditional love and acceptance of self seems to be the hardest task for all humankind. Refusing to accept our “real selves,” we… — John Bradshaw Human suffering Copy Share Image
“The more dysfunctional the system, the more closed and rigid are the roles it assigns. In families that are chemically, sexually or… — John Bradshaw Dysfunction Copy Share Image
“The fantasy bond (really bondage) is the illusion that someone is there for them, someone who loves and protects them. The fantasy… — John Bradshaw Bondage Copy Share Image
“The ego defense of conversion transforms developmental needs into the need for something else. This could be food, money or excessive attention.… — John Bradshaw Communication Copy Share Image
“During school age, the bright, shame-based child will attempt to develop inhuman ego defenses or defending scripts, such as perfectionism, blaming, criticizing,… — John Bradshaw Character Copy Share Image
