All Jen Lancaster Quotes
- I can't believe anyone would voluntarily run 26 miles. Sometimes I sit on the couch cross-legged because I don't feel like walking to the bathroom. Anyone
- This is terrific! What fun! Maybe tomorrow I can go to the prom with my brother. The day after, perhaps I can wear white pants… Brother
- No, it's not a 'corpse thing.' I feel I lack the emotional capacity to deal with those in mourning... Capacity
- Despite my best efforts, I'm not quite perfect. Let's just say I'm like one of those Hopi blankets where they leave a tiny flaw so… Affront
- When I hug her, I notice she's still wearing yesterday's false eyelashes. Mom? You know those come off with a little makeup remover and a… Cotton
- The living room is a monument to my impulsive spending habits. I've got more than two hundred DVDs, including cinematic greats such as Monkey Bone,… Account
- Some people are destined to be deep thinkers. I am not one of those people. Deep
- I still believe in the Holy Trinity, except now it's Target, Trader Joe's, and IKEA. Believe
- For the record? I have never been her baby. In fact, I reject the notion of coming out of her body. I prefer to believe… Baby
- Seriously, our nation is never going to be on the same page on issues like gun control, welfare, the economy, the environment, etc. I doubt… All
- Over the summer we chatted one night while Angie stripped a bed, changed wet sheets, comforted and repajamaed a toddler, and chased down a car… Angie
- I yearn to be a woman of more depth, but I'm not so fond of the path I'd need to follow to get there. Depth
- As I examine my life through this book, I can't help but wonder if my mother was right. Maybe I really was what I ate.… Ate
- You know what it was like? It was like thinking I was heading to a surprise party and instead it was a surprise pap smear. Fitness
- You think you're so cool just because you can walk! Cool
- Amen,' I exclaim, accidentally spitting out a Raisinet. I pick up the chocolate with a Kleenex and stuff it in my purse. Ten bucks says… Accidentally
- Iām busy sorting through our new collection of rhinestone jewelry. Should anyone be in the market for sparkly accessories the size of a hubcap, this… Accessories
- Ambien might have mentally just tossed my salad. WITH CROUTONS. Ambien
- Owning a dog is slightly less expensive than being addicted to crack. Addicted
- Although I get a lot of specialty services like wraps, scrubs, and mustache removal, my favorite is the simple manicure/pedicure. They work on your hands… Call
- Really? If I could hate my trainer? That would be ideal. I'd prefer to despise this person with the fire of ten thousand suns. So… Bus
- Point? Maybe you aren't a Carrie or a Samantha or a Charlotte or a Miranda. Maybe you're just you. Carrie
- Maybe I've moved to the dark side, but it's clean and nice and we never run out of toilet paper. Clean
- I've determined the ideal job for me is one where I can write clever essays about my life and my employer will give me enough… Buy
- When did the cell phone become a license to be rude? And why must I be subjected to your personal conversations? Cell