All Jasper Fforde Quotes
- There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet says...it's payback time! Denmark
- History has rewritten itself so many times I'm not really sure how it was to begin with -- it's a bit like trying to guess… Been
- I collect ex-boyfriends -- and more than five, at last count. Boyfriends
- Humpty had always sat on walls, it was his way. Always Sat
- Palindrome as well. My sister's name is Hannah. Father liked word games. He was fourteen times World Scrabble Champion. When he died, we buried him… Buried
- He was, after all, the ultimate rebel -- it takes a lot of cojones to stand up to Zeus. All
- If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart,… Armstrong
- How fishy on the fishiness scale? Ten is a stickleback and one is a whale shark." "A whale isn't a fish, Thursday." "A whale shark… All
- Reality TV was to me the worst form of entertainment--the modern equivalent of paying sixpence to watch lunatics howling at the wall down at the… Down
- The government was to raise the duty on cheese to 83 percent, an unpopular move that would doubtless have the more militant citizens picketing cheese… Cheese
- …Tell me, has anything odd happened to you recently? What do you mean, odd?' Unusual. Deviating from the customary. Something outside the usual parameters of… Customary
- If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution. Book
- Goodness is weakness, pleasantness is poisonous, serenity is mediocrity and kindness is for losers. The best reason for committing loathsome and detestable acts – and… Acts
- Without unscrambled eggs, there was no time travel, no more depredation of the Now, and we could look to a brighter future of long-term thought--and… Brighter
- DCI Horner's advice to Jack Spratt: "Remember, m'boy," his old boss had said, eyes twinkling, "that if anyone tries to get the better of you,… Advice
- I'll tell you what love is" I said, "It is blind devotion, unquestioning self humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the… Belief
- How many people want to read about three disreputable pigs and a dopey wolf with a disposition towards house demolition? Demolition
- The Goliath Corporation was to altruism what Genghis Khan was to soft furnishings. Altruism
- Ordinary adults don't like children to speak of things that are denied them by their own gray minds. Adults
- Religion isn't the cause of wars, it's the excuse. Cause