“I like people thinking I'm an asshole. Being an asshole is my life's vocation; I'm a goddamned asshole professional.” — James Alan Gardner Assholery Copy Share Image
“Given time, a ship's crew will attach sexual innuendo to anything. It makes their jobs more exciting.” — James Alan Gardner Time Copy Share Image
Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty, and some see it crawling with toxic alien parasites who want… — James Alan Gardner Aliens Copy Share Image
I do not care about the greatest good for the greatest number . . . Most people are poop-heads I do not… — James Alan Gardner Care Copy Share Image
“My home is in Banff, Alberta, up in the Rockies. Waterloo is two time zones east, nine hundred kilometers farther south, and… — James Alan Gardner Time Copy Share Image
“The council is a place where everyone schemes against everyone else, and people talk incessantly about Power with a capital "Pow".” — James Alan Gardner Council Copy Share Image
“That's the first rule of command; be consistent! You can be sadistic, you can be lazy, you can be stupid, but if… — James Alan Gardner Command Copy Share Image
“You clutch your comfortable excuses, saying, Someday I'll be brave, it won't take a lot, just give me one more chance and… — James Alan Gardner Bravery Copy Share Image
The way past despair and false hope is just letting go. It doesn't improve your odds of survival, but it doesn't waste… — James Alan Gardner Despair Copy Share Image
“If you agree to work for us, half the time you won't know the purpose of your duties . . . and… — James Alan Gardner Espionage Copy Share Image
Ah, but I am more perceptive than most of the universe. Especially the parts of the universe that are vacuum. — James Alan Gardner Physics Copy Share Image
Fate does not invite ugly boring people to save the world; and if you do try to save the world (without being… — James Alan Gardner Adventure Copy Share Image
It is strange how the presence of additional people can make you feel more alone. — James Alan Gardner Feels Copy Share Image
Having a perilous adventure is always better than comatose safety. Always, always, always, always, always. — James Alan Gardner Adventure Copy Share Image
I hated relying on luck. When it worked, it made me feel so damned eerie. — James Alan Gardner Eerie Copy Share Image
“That must be the chief reason to become sergeant; so you can assign yourself to monitor the most beautiful security risk.” — James Alan Gardner Rank Copy Share Image
“Sometimes all the procedures in the world can't protect you . . . but that's no reason to walk up to something… — James Alan Gardner Copy Share Image
“Don't be a little paranoid; worry about everything, or let it all go.” — James Alan Gardner Fear Copy Share Image
Deliberate choices are the only sacred things in the universe. Everything else is just hydrogen. — James Alan Gardner Choices Copy Share Image
Everyone's life is a mess. Everyone's. We all make mistakes . . . and not just little slip-ups. Major mistakes that hurt… — James Alan Gardner Failure Copy Share Image
What kind of programmer is so divorced from reality that she thinks she'll get complex software right the first time? — James Alan Gardner Divorced Copy Share Image
Lawyers will always buckle under to something, whether its bribes, violence, court orders, or the weight of their own bullshit. — James Alan Gardner Bribe Copy Share Image
“Don't be such a party-pooper, missy --when you're well and truly screwed, either you just sit pissing yourself or you invent some… — James Alan Gardner Hope Copy Share Image
You don’t free yourself from duty by running away. That only increases the weight on your shoulders. — James Alan Gardner Duty Copy Share Image
