Ilya Ilf

“Ippolit Matveevich turned even redder, pulled out a tiny notebook, and wrote in a calligraphic hand: 25/4/1927 — rubles issued to Comrade…

— Ilya Ilf

Americans don't like to waste time on stupid things, for example, on the torturous process of coming up with names for their…

— Ilya Ilf

Everyone drank to popular education and to the irrigation of Uzbekistan.

— Ilya Ilf

“If you should attempt to maintain that film is an art in conversation with a cultured, intelligent American, he'll just plain stop…

— Ilya Ilf

“It wouldn't have been surprising if the girl suddenly stamped her foot and began: "Comrades! Allow me to summarize the achievements which…

— Ilya Ilf

“Se non può far a meno di soffrire, soffra almeno in silenzio.”

— Ilya Ilf

“Investigating Koreiko's case might take a long time," said Ostap. "God only knows how long. And since there is no God, nobody…

— Ilya Ilf

“She was, after all, a mattress owner and understood the subtleties of life.”

— Ilya Ilf

“So what was in this building before historical materialism?' 'Before what?' 'You know, back then, under the old regime?' 'Oh. Under the…

— Ilya Ilf

“The word "America" has well-developed grandiose associations for a Soviet person, for whom it refers to a country of skyscrapers, where day…

— Ilya Ilf

“I am Emir Dynamite!" he shouted, swaying on top of the tall camelback. "If within two days we don't get any decent…

— Ilya Ilf

“He was only thirty-eight. His body was clean, well-fed, and benign. He had all his teeth. A fresh Armenian joke stirred in…

— Ilya Ilf

“To a Soviet person, used to the nationality policy of the USSR, all the mistakes of the American government's Indian policy are…

— Ilya Ilf

“Fifteen of his clubs, dedicated to politics, music, and the performing arts, had all been developing strategic plans for the past two…

— Ilya Ilf

“Let's put it to a vote. Shall the ballots be open or secret?" "We don't need Soviet-style voting," Charushnikov said, offended. "Let's…

— Ilya Ilf

“It should be explained at this point that there are no girls in the world who do not sense an impending declaration…

— Ilya Ilf

“Most importantly, we have our assets: an émigré who has returned to his native town. And we have our liabilities: he is…

— Ilya Ilf

“The way people used to kiss before the age of historical materialism.”

— Ilya Ilf

California is the most reactionary state in America. Fascist sentiments are very strong here.

— Ilya Ilf

“Ostap Bender lay in the dvornik's room, which was warm to the point of reeking, and mentally put the finishing touches on…

— Ilya Ilf

“But the editor in chief was already balding and worked a lot. He was at the mercy of his family and apartment.…

— Ilya Ilf