Graham Chapman Quotes

51 quotes in 690 categories

• There is no cannibalism in the British navy, absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount.
• I hope I will have achieved something lasting.
• All ideas come about through some sort of observation. It sparks an attitude; some object or emotion causes a reaction in the other person.
• Death can really absorb a person. Lik most people, I would find it pleasant not to have to go, but you just accept that it's…
• One thing for sure - a sheep is not a creature of the air.
• It's nice to see that look of alarm on the faces of the others.
• We don't deliberately set out to offend. Unless we feel it's justified.
• Health care does not worry me a great deal. I've been impressed by some wonderful old people.
• Stormy in love, stormy in interviews, breakfast in bed - that's me, love.
• John Howard Davies was not a very human person... if you made a mistake of any kind, any sort of pause in speech, he would…
• No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, fear and surprise; two chief weapons, fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Er, among our…
• You see, I don't belive that libraries should be drab places where people sit in silence, that has been the main reason for our policy…
• An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a definite proposition... A contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other…
• In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and…
• Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition...
• At that time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that…
• I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was…
• Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock. Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock. Don't bake…
• One, two, ... five!" "Three, my lord.
• This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It's a…

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