Gavin de Becker

“We want recognition, not accomplishment.”

— Gavin de Becker

“Contrary to what people believe about the intuition of dogs, your intuitive abilities are vastly superior (and given that you add to…

— Gavin de Becker

“Generally speaking, rapport-building has a far better reputation than it deserves. It is perceived as admirable when in fact it is almost…

— Gavin de Becker

“Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman describes seven key abilities most beneficial for human beings: the ability to motivate ourselves, to persist against frustration,…

— Gavin de Becker

“Every day, people engaged in the clever defiance of their own intuition become, in mid-thought, victims of violence and accidents. So when…

— Gavin de Becker

“niceness does not equal goodness. Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait. People seeking…

— Gavin de Becker

I encourage people to remember that "no" is a complete sentence.

— Gavin de Becker

“When young, they are attached by heavy chains to large stakes driven deep into the ground. They pull and yank and strain…

— Gavin de Becker

“Every human behavior can be explained by what precedes it, but that does not excuse it,”

— Gavin de Becker

“The institutions of psychiatry, law enforcement, and government have proved that no matter what your resources, you cannot reliably control the conduct…

— Gavin de Becker

“The institutions of psychiatry, law enforcement, and goverment have proved that no matter what our resources, you cannot reliable control the conduct…

— Gavin de Becker

“Conditional rejections are not rejections—they are discussions.”

— Gavin de Becker

“A Natural History of the Senses, author Diane Ackerman says, “The brain is a good stagehand. It gets on with its work…

— Gavin de Becker

“Unlike when people lived in small communities and could not escape their past behavior, we live in an age of anonymous one-time…

— Gavin de Becker

“We must learn and then teach our children that niceness does not equal goodness.”

— Gavin de Becker

“building prisons is our number one social program for young men.”

— Gavin de Becker

And why do we worship hindsight (as in the news media's constant rehash of the day, the week, the year) and yet…

— Gavin de Becker

When a baby is born the mother in particular enters into a new larger relationship with the world. She has become connected…

— Gavin de Becker

“We must learn and then teach our children that niceness does not equal goodness. Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social…

— Gavin de Becker

“You have more brain cells than there are grains of sand on your favorite beach, and you have cleverness, dexterity, and creativity—all…

— Gavin de Becker

“Just as rapport-building has a good reputation, explicitness applied by women in this culture has a terrible reputation. A woman who is…

— Gavin de Becker

“It is similar to one brother asking another, “Why did you grow up to be a drunk?” The answer is “Because Dad…

— Gavin de Becker

The hijacking of an American jet in Athens looms larger in our concern than the parent who kills a child, even though…

— Gavin de Becker

“The bottom line is that there is really only one good reason to get a restraining order in a case of wife…

— Gavin de Becker

“You are an animal of nature, fully endowed with hearing, sight, intellect, and dangerous defenses. You are not easy prey, so don’t…

— Gavin de Becker