Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud-gun in a duffel bag. I… — Dwight Schrute Cybersecurity Copy Share Image
As a farmer I know that when an animal is sick sometimes the right thing to do is put it out of… — Dwight Schrute Right thing Copy Share Image
I train my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I can retract my penis up into itself. — Dwight Schrute Fitness Copy Share Image
When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound… — Dwight Schrute Grown man Copy Share Image
Dolphins get a lot of good publicity for the drowning swimmers they push back to shore, but what you dont hear about… — Dwight Schrute Copy Share Image
When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will… — Dwight Schrute Better now Copy Share Image
