Don Rickles Quotes

64 quotes in 629 categories

• You throw your best punch, otherwise don't do it.
• Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones.
• Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.
• The old days were the old days. And they were great days. But now is now.
• It takes many years to be a great comedian.
• I'd like to think my performance is today. I never try to - it's so, as you know, watching me, I have a beginning, middle…
• Sex is great, but when you get to be my age, you've got to pace it a little bit. Otherwise you get tired.
• My whole act is off the top of my head.
• Well, I call myself an actor. I always wanted to be one.
• I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.
• I have to have energy because I have a lot of expenses. A couple of cars, couple of dogs and a big estate.
• You know what's funny to me? Attitude.
• I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say…
• Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.
• I was always the guy - out of insecurities, I was always making fun, even as a kid.
• To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.
• I do situations and make fun of authority and life.
• Everything I've ever done in my whole career, people might not know, I've never written anything down on paper.
• Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.
• Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.

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