Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time. — Dennis Miller Birth Copy Share Image
Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party. — Dennis Miller Communist Copy Share Image
When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond… — Dennis Miller Bad guy Copy Share Image
Why should I hate someone on the basis of their religion, when I can take a little time to get to know… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention. — Dennis Miller Attention Copy Share Image
I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in… — Dennis Miller Brain Copy Share Image
Growing up, my family wasn't very tight. We were more like a tour group with secrets. — Dennis Miller Family Copy Share Image
Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things… — Dennis Miller Conservative Copy Share Image
Trends don't mean anything to me. If I like something, I'll do it. If I don't, I won't do it, and I… — Dennis Miller Care Copy Share Image
Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I'm glad I don't have a lot of money in the market. And quite frankly, you'd be better off giving your money… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
If you could use the Internet somehow to see how a Fiji sailor is doing, rather than having to read a text… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
They have an amazing proliferation of TV channels now: The all-cartoon channel, the 24-hour-science fiction channel. Of course, to make room for… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I'm sorry, those pictures from the Abu Ghraib. At first, they, like infuriated me, I was sad. Then like, a couple days… — Dennis Miller Abu ghraib Copy Share Image
That kid's got an arm like Uncle Fester at an exhibition of Pre-Colombian... um, Christ, I lost it. I was going for… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Teresa Lewis, the only woman on death row in Virginia, says she doesn't deserve the death penalty because she only hired the… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
The ACLU spent this entire holiday season protesting public displays of the nativity scene. Yeah, that's the problem with America right now:… — Dennis Miller America Copy Share Image
Look, we're Americans: optimistic, addicted to the quick fix, constantly on the hunt for the new and exotic. It's much easier for… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
There's a lot of differing data [about global warming], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the… — Dennis Miller Climate Copy Share Image
At some point you cannot be the kid in the glass bubble in this world. You might've heard throughout your grade school… — Dennis Miller Brutal Copy Share Image
I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns and capricious whimsy of verbs, the strutting… — Dennis Miller Flirtatious Copy Share Image
Ah, Feminism in the nineties, what a What is yours what is mine field. — Dennis Miller Feminism Copy Share Image
In the late twentieth century, staying sober has become just as much an addiction as getting wasted. — Dennis Miller Addiction Copy Share Image
Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet! — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we? — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
![“There's a lot of differing data [about global warming], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on this planet has gone up 1.8 degrees. Am I the only one who finds that amazingly stable? I could go back to my hotel room tonight and futz with the thermostat for three…” quote by Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c11/dennis-miller-1315_climate_there-s-a-lot-of-differing-data-about-gl_140331.jpg)
