“She said there was no tactful way for a naked person to cope with a runny nose, especially while dancing. Orly grudgingly… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
My books are shelved in different places, depending on the bookstore. Sometimes they can be found in the Mystery section, sometimes in… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
Ironically, I come from a family of lawyers - my dad, my grandfather, and now my oldest son. And some of my… — Carl Hiaasen Best friend Copy Share Image
“The first thing that the boy called Smoke told Nick Waters was: “Your biology book’s in my locker. The combination is 5-3-5.”… — Carl Hiaasen Books Copy Share Image
Kids feel so strongly about what's going on today and what's happening to the world, and that's very inspiring. I feel more… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
I'm sort of fascinated by America's fascination with rednecks, the whole Duck Dynasty thing. Being a white guy from the South, I… — Carl Hiaasen Accents Copy Share Image
You can do the best research and be making the strongest intellectual argument, but if readers don't get past the third paragraph… — Carl Hiaasen Argument Copy Share Image
Good satire comes from anger. It comes from a sense of injustice, that there are wrongs in the world that need to… — Carl Hiaasen Anger Copy Share Image
“A big farming operation like his was a challenging enterprise, relying as it did on rampant pollution and the systematic mistreatment of… — Carl Hiaasen Business Copy Share Image
The Florida in my novels is not as seedy as the real Florida. It's hard to stay ahead of the curve. Every… — Carl Hiaasen Books Copy Share Image
Obviously you have to make a profit to put out a newspaper. I'm not an idiot. But when the margins are in… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
Like Richard Price and the late, great Elmore Leonard, Matt Burgess is one of those cool, quick and funny writers who can… — Carl Hiaasen Capers Copy Share Image
I'd love to see a good script of one of my books, in these years of animations and comic book sequels, and… — Carl Hiaasen Animation Copy Share Image
“I didn’t tell my parents what happened because they would’ve freaked and gone straight to Dusty Muleman, or maybe even the police,… — Carl Hiaasen Parenting Copy Share Image
“The other day, one of the big shots was trying to say ‘Nice shoes!’ and he accidentally told a government minister that… — Carl Hiaasen Politics Copy Share Image
“My father's a large man, very strong, but he says fighting is for people who can't win with their brains. He also… — Carl Hiaasen Fight Copy Share Image
No deliberative body is manifestly less qualified to make decisions about public education than our state Legislature. With a few shining exceptions,… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
I never laugh or smile when I am writing. When I come home for lunch after writing all morning, my wife says… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
“Avila failed to see irony in the fact that corruptly incompetent building inspections were a chief reason that so many roofs had… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
“A well-regulated militia,” Bode added, “like they talk about in the Second Amendment.” “Oh,” said Shiner. He hadn’t read the first one… — Carl Hiaasen Amendment Copy Share Image
